there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
