We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
