in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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