just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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