One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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