how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
