It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
