So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
