i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
