but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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