and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
