Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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