My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize