i permit you to call me
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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