Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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