I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
