toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
