Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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