shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
