idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
