My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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