just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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