im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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