nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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