I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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