What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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