I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
