are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize