that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
