I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize