Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
