Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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