At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
