I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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