he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Operation Purity has been aborted
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Randomize