is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
