ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
