They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
