I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
