I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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