Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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