adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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