P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This is my gift to your gina
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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