I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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