You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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