Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
