Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
