The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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