why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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