The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
