It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We had sex on a dog bed..
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
