i just made my gag reflex go away.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize