The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
