hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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