And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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