I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
