A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
