So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
